ayto | Week 0 Mingle;

❤ Week 0 Mingle

Welcome to your new home, contestants! You step off the boat you somehow don't remember being on (or the plane, or the transdimensional time warp you skipped through) and find yourself on a beautiful, lush island! All you have is what you managed to cram into one suitcase (or three), so snacks, clothes, sex toys, photo albums of your family or coworkers, your phone that will not be working all that well, and etc. No living things, why would you put them through the embarrassment of witnessing your romantic escapades? Please.

You're led to a house and told this is where you will be living until you get your act together and find your destined partner. How nice! It appears to be set up already to be lived in, and the kitchen has a mini bar with alcohol already provided, as well as a little notebook of instructions as to how to mix drinks and how to play those wildly popular Drinking Games. Maybe give it a try later?

Once you're all unpacked and starting to mingle, you'll find a young lady in the traditional Ojousama Ringlets standing out in the yard. She'll wait until everyone is present before she smiles and speaks.

"Good day, contestants. I am the Overseer, the individual who will be, well... overseeing your romantic escapades during your stay. I believe you know the rules already, so I'll be brief: you are all here because you have encountered difficulties maintaining a romance. You have all been paired up with each other, thanks to a complicated matchmaking algorithm. Your goal is to find your Perfect Match. Should all ten Perfect Matches be found and confirmed, all of you will have your wishes granted. So really..."

She places a hand delicately to her chin. "It would behoove you to speak with each other, test out your chemistry, and see where that leads you as quickly as possible. I shall be scarce today, save for an occasional encounter, but I will be speaking with you tomorrow to give you a better idea of what your next few weeks will be looking like. By all means, do enjoy yourselves."

She curtseys. And then leaves, but don't worry. She may just pop into your toplevel to ask you some questions. Or she may not! Who knows!

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Yes. One has been created for each of us.

[ Please hold as he takes a minute to recite one in particular. ]

Your name is Cyrus Albright. You are currently thirty years of age. Your location of origin is Atlasdam, Orsterra. Your weight is...

[ He is literally just going to recite the profile word for word until someone stops him or he finishes naturally two minutes later. ]

[Cyrus has zero reason to stop Cassius. Instead, he hangs onto every word and, if he were a mere theatrical man, would have ended it with an applause. As he is, he spreads his arms to convey his awe.]

Impressive! You have a remarkable memory. Although . . . I am not certain what you meant by maidens and shoving. Is that what my profile truly says?

That is what is listed. Were you not consulted when the profile was created?

[ me choosing not to think too hard about how all this works. ]

You are in possession of an appearance that most would describe as 'handsome.' Thus you would have no difficulty in wooing said fair maidens. I believe the profile to be accurate.

[He shakes his head—both to the question and the comment.]

Please, friend. A word such as handsome suits you better than it does me. And I assure you that I do not make a hobby of wooing anyone.

Perhaps it is time to pick up such a hobby here, given the objective of the game we have been chosen to participate in.

[ But also, pls give him tips. Cyrus can be senpai #2. ]

[That requires him to know what he's doing.]

Ahaha, perhaps so—if there were more time. I would much rather stick to what I know and see where that takes me. Even if I were to pursue such a hobby, I wouldn't know where to begin.

I have heard that many people choose to use a 'pick-up line' when engaging in such activities.

[ What, exactly, entails a good pick-up line though? He has no idea. What even is a pick-up line?? ]

Do they?

[His tone asks the same question.]

Do you know of any?

[ Please hold while he searches his databanks. ]

If you were a vegetable, you’d be a CUTEc-umber.

[ Look at him. He's smiling. He's so proud of himself. ]

[Cutecumber?]

. . . Was that one?

[After giving it another thought, he smiles back. Evidently Cassius is happy to share, so Cyrus is happy for him and that he's heard something new today.]

I wonder if there's a certain charm to turning compliments into jokes.

Was it unsuccessful?

[ Cyrus seems to be smiling but....?? Humans are so hard to read sometimes. It appears more research might be needed. ]

Perhaps it would be beneficial to go around the group and greet each individual with one of these pick-up lines in order to accumulate more data.

[ For Science(TM). ]

[Only because there was a disconnect in words and feeling. The joke itself wasn't bad, in Cyrus' mind; however, he doesn't think of himself as cute or even all that good-looking. Cassius' pick-up line is sure to land better on someone who's more attractive.

But first, an intriguing suggestion has cropped up.]

That is certainly one means of gathering data. Are you interested?

Week 0 Mingle;

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1/2 can't believe you made me google bad pick-up lines

2/2

bless you

oh my god i didn't even put the hyphen in the right place, end me

I still love you